People in helping professionals often can experience compassion fatigue, where we pick up on the trauma of others. Sometimes we don't even know that we have picked up on the trauma or we don't even know that we are depleted from having compassion for others. We don't recognize that exhaustion, depression, irritation, frustration etc can be manifestations of caring too much about others.
I have one student who transferred from another school and is on a temporary permit at our school with the expectation that he has good behavior. I can revoke his permit if he has behavior or attendance problems, if I provide interventions over an 8 week period. We have provided lots of interventions and sometimes I think about revoking his permit.
One day he came to school with a black eye and said that he went to visit his dad over the weekend who gave him a black eye. We called child protective services and also notified his mother because he was scared to go back to visit his dad. This month he has been acting up and told us that he is scared of his stepdad who is an alcoholic and beats his mom. We reported that also to child protective services. I don't think child protective services has even investigated over the past few months because they usually show up at the school to talk to the child.
He has so many behavior problems but my heart hurts for this child. He is so darn smart sometimes with some of the things that he says. I appreciate that he confides in us. But it hurts my heart so bad to see in his face many days that something is wrong. Sometimes I wonder what would also happen to him if he were to be placed into a foster care situation. I have had to even report a foster parent in the past so it is so painful to know that sometimes there are students in lose lose situations.
There is another family of five and I suddenly noticed that all of them are acting up. After about two weeks I found out that for some reason their dad moved and is living with his dad and they went to live with their mom who I think is very unstable and inconsistent. I spoke with the father and he knows this but he is struggling himself and said that he is trying to get back on his feet. It hurts me to see these kinds of situations. I can't even be mad at the students, really.
These are just two situations of MANY and I have been noticing that I have had a heavy feeling inside of me. I have been emotionally and physically exhausted. What is important about compassion fatigue is that it is important to try to recognize that it is happening to you. Sometimes we just think we are tired or grouchy and don't realize that we are going through compassion fatigue. I haven't figured it all out yet but I think self care in the form of self compassion, disconnecting from the job etc can help educators manage this.
If you also work with a lot of students with trauma, keep your eye out for compassion fatigue. When you start to feel symptoms, do something extra special for yourself. Hang with the people who make you happy. Read a book. Dance. Connect with nature. Feed your soul.
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